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Dennis J Brandt
(Whoretense Facepillow)
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"Gilda Van Go-Go"

Gilda came from Abbotsford by way of Oshawa ON; she was the homeliest adoptee you ever did see. So she got a make-over.

"Gilda Van Go-Go"

Gilda came from Abbotsford by way of Oshawa ON; she was the homeliest adoptee you ever did see. So she got a make-over.

This is the Gilda Van-Go-Go art car. It has not been to Burning Man, which means no playa dust; but has served as public entertainment at many street fairs and various public events since 2005. It was originally a bread truck in Canada; manufactured in Ontario. It has a small block Chevy 350 engine (AT, PS, PB). Apart from the decorated add ons, she has a rebuilt transmission, new block, new radiator, new rear differential, new after-market vacuum operated power brakes, a transmission cooling fan, and chrome wheels. She has a house battery, a battery disconnect for the starter battery, and solar panels on the roof. Other roof mounted add-ons include a large aluminum roof rack, an access hatch, and an umbrella stand. Inside is a complete kitchen including hot water, sink, refrigerator, range, and storage. House battery assures power for lighting etc even while camping. There is a separate electrical system wired to the factory alternator to keep a charge on both batteries while driving. There is an aftermarket brake light on the rear deck, along with after-market emergency flashers. There is a solar controller, power converter, clean and grey water storage, public address speaker, cb radio, and a DVD player with CD and FM radio. The van is from 1965, so 60 years old and was tired when I bought it in 2005 so I have no idea what will die next. It was rewired shortly after I bought it, has a good ground, good brakes, and starts reliably. It has had regular routine maintenance all the time I’ve owned it. Doesn’t leak oil. The "tiara" on the roof folds down for travel. The van gets about 12 mpg. It is as reliable as you want it to be. If it helps I have relied on my engineering knowledge and savvy to keep it in as good condition as I have been able. On the flat it can go 65-70 mph. It is intimidating as all get out on the road; other drivers stay clear, LOL. On the flat it can go 65-70 mph. It is intimidating as all get out on the road; other drivers steer clear, LOL.

A few negatives-- tires are old and need to be replaced soon. There’s been a mouse living in the overhead storage and minor damage as a result of storage. There are headers on the engine that run a bit hot; idling in traffic on a hot day can make it vapor lock, meaning you’ll be stuck on the shoulder until the engine cools. The roof has been entirely water-tight, until recently. The roof leaks, a little, somewhere, but damage so far is minor. That is as bad as things get-- it runs fine all considered. The windshield wipers work but are old and very worn. It can climb hills (Grants Pass in Oregon) okay but a low gear and running the hazard lights will be required. This is an honest appraisal, though perhaps biased. I expect and demand a similar level of honesty in any future transactions...

If you think you have what it takes to drive this one away, get used to having your picture taken a lot. You will have to obey all traffic signs because the car does get the attention of everyone around you. Over-all it is not any harder to drive than an oversize dump truck, fire engine, or perhaps a Tesla Cybertruck on fire. It is all perfectly street legal; the cops have never challenged that. I was asking $12,000; if you’re into it then I’m guessing you’re prepared to continue with the van as an art object, either in its current manifestation or in some other form that only you can imagine— so I’m prepared to reduce the price to $9500. Life is about gain and loss, but I’d rather see this on display rather than scrapped. Imagine the sucker in the next lane driving his $100K Euro-trash sedan-- and you are the one everyone is aiming their cell phone at.

The car is physically located off I-5 north of Mount Vernon, south of Bellingham Washington.

Serious inquiries only: radfeyart@gmail.com